no return

You can feel it, lapping at your feet as you walk. You walk faster, only for your shoes to get caught in it. As you bend down to remove you shoe, your foot sinks deeper. You can see someone in the distance. You call at him while waving. It has reached your knees. A crowd has started to gather. You try to lift you legs but its too hard. You implore the crowd for help, but the only look at you in wonder. You can feel it at your back, cold tendrils that make the skin on your neck crawl. Your voice is hoarse from shouting, but you cannot give up, not now. You see her face though the haze of tears in your eyes. She pushes through the crowd to come and stand next to you. You raise your hands toward her, but she steps away, shaking her head. It is getting harder to breath. You can feel something brushing at the soles of your feet. A cold sweat trickles down your neck. The crowd starts to thin as people lose interest. Soon only she remains. She sits down and draws her feet up. You can feel the pressure around your chest like a vice. You tilt your head back, but its there at your ears. It feels slick and cold in your hands. You take a last breath as it covers your face. It is dark, utterly dark...........

Sunday, 02 March 2008

she...

She walks away, hair blowing back in the wind. Beautiful cannot describe her, for it makes her yet another beautiful one, while she is one. One of a kind. She is yours, or is she? You cannot own her, but you want her. You want to look into her eyes, drown in those bottomless pools. You want to make her smile, feel her approval as she looks upon you. But she is light chained, darkness fettered. She flows through your blood, mercury and molten metal. Cold tendrils running up your spine, heat flowing through your chest. Your head pounds and your feet are leaden. Lights flash infront of your eyes as you approach the brink, the very threshold. Time slows as colours become more vivid, pulsing and throbbing with a life of their own. She will break your heart, but you want her. Want her more than anything you've ever wanted...

Monday, 03 March 2008

The End

Its over, it ends here. Sadness eclipses happiness beyond compare. Why does every good thing have to end? Why does happiness always leave a bitter taste? A feeling of emptiness that cannot be filled. A feel of longing that cannot be fulfilled. Everything around looses its allure, the sheen over everything becomes dull and colors loose their sparkle. Is it because you no longer have somene to share with, someone to appreciate with? This pain never dulls, never fades. It just opens and bleeds afresh everytime a semblance of happiness is felt. The pain is remembered and the fears reawaken, to jostle with the hope that it will not be like the last time...

Saturday, 08 March 2008

the rush...

Bright lights flash in front of your eyes as she kisses you on the lips, your hand reaches for her head as she cradles yours in her hands. As you close your eyes, you enter a dimension seldom walked. Colours are blinding and your senses overloaded. Goosebumps dot your skin as electric tingles run up and down your spine. It can't stop, it shouldn't stop. Her smooth skin beneath your hands, her warm breath on your neck, the weight of her body on yours. Her nails rake your skin as she arches her back. You can feel her heart beating, thumping away harder and harder. As she lightly bites your neck, you exhale crushing her in your embrace. 'Don't let go,' she whispers in your ear as her hands run up and down your back. 'Never,' you vow, 'Never.....'

Wednesday, 02 April 2008

Darkness

As I walk through the depths of despair, the darkness engulfs me. I feel the weight of my sins weigh down on my back as I trudge over the sharp rocks that make up my path. Is there no escape? No ray of light to lead me on my way? Is there no respite from the stifling heat, the air that chokes...
Out of the darkness a light appears. As I reach my hand out, it grows larger, covering me with its warm glow...
Alas, it is all but a figment of my imagination. My burden becomes heavier and i fall to my knees. I will not let it take me, I will not...

Thursday, 08 May 2008

Alone

Your heart pounds in your chest as you struggle to keep up. A dull ache begins that makes it harder to breathe. Slow down, you say, raising a hand as if that would slow them down. You stumble along, struggling to keep your footing on the unsteady surface. Down you go as your ankle twists. As you raise your head from the ground, you realize something, you are all alone... Your voice is blown away by the wind and the effort to shout is meaningless. The dull ache persists, making it a harder struggle to breathe. Your chest feels as though you're being crushed. You fall back onto the ground, a cold sweat trickling down your back as you realize the inevitability of it all. You are all alone...


Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Today was a good day

On the bus I sit, watching the world from my window seat. Watch as the cars in the traffic slow to a halt and then zoom off as the lights turn green. Watch as people run across the road, dodging and weaving between the moving cars. Hard as it is, i write in a moving bus. So engrossed, I can almost hear the pen scratching across the surface of the paper. A bitter taste rises in the back of my mouth as I remember what happened during the day. I shake my head, trying to shrug it off, but it lingers on. ''Well,'' I think to myself, ''I won't let it spoil the day...'' The bus is at Valley Road now, slowly climbing up the hill in fits and starts. I hate traffic. I turn round and look at the person sitting next to me. He was nodding off as he got into the bus and now he's fast asleep, head thrown backwards with his mouth wide open. I resistthe temptation to toss my rolled up ticket into his mouth and resume my vigil at the window. I can see people climbing up the hill, concentration etched on their faces as they push on ever upwards. A moth flits by the window and I watch it fly by with longing. The bus starts moving again and there we are, at the top of the hill. It looks different without all the trees, like its bald. Round the roundabout the bus trundles, almost jolting my teeth out of their sockets. Indeed this will be a ride to remember. I look out of the window again, but at nothing in particular, just reminiscing, remembering... Thats all I seem to be doing of late, remembering. Not making any conscious effort at making any new memories, just wallowing, stuck in the past. The cold wind jolts me out of my reverie and I realize that I'm almost at my stage. As I stand up and walk towards the door, I realise that I actually enjoyed the bus ride. A half smile creases my face as I step out into the darkness. Walking down the road as the wind rushes by me, I inhale deeply and smile to myself, Looking up, I can see the moon through the clouds, its weak light streaming through the wispy threads of cloud. I can feel pent up excitement bubbling to the top and feel like I could laugh out loud. Then it hits me, what has passed is gone and what is to come is clouded. I live for the moment, and the moment is now...

Today was a good day...

8.30 PM 12th June 2008

Untitled

The pattering of the raindrops is muffled behind the glass of the window. I can see the drops flow down the window as i look outside...

*...mimi sijui, sielewi...*

The haunting melodies of the past tug at me swaying me from all that is within me. The cold air flows through me, chilling me from the inside...

*...so long, see you...*

The drops splash on the puddles, forming ripples that move ever outward. The weak light of the moon plays over everything, casting a pale white sheen on it all...

*...sema kwaheri, tusonge mbele...*

The rumble of thunder is faintly heard over the rain. The trickling grows louder, echoing in the empty house. I get up and place my palms on the window, i can feel the drops as though they are running down my palms...

*...pole, pole, miye nimefika mwisho...*

I slide the window open and step outside, the rain falling on my shirt. My breath is caught in my chest as the cold hits me like a slap. The drops roll down my face as I tilt it heavenwards. I can feel the goosebumps as the rain falls on me, unrelenting, unwavering. I fall to my knees with a splash and bow my head. The rain runs into my eyes, small pinpricks of pain. A half smile creases my face, my mind is as empty as my heart is cold. Empty as the sky above me, cold as the ice in the heavens.

Random

Its a cold wind,frigid, bitter ice cold. Walking is becoming harder. How much longer to go? Feet sink into the soft mud of reality, dreams are getting further and further away. What is this thick fog that obscures vision? Losing the way is so much easier. The temptation to lie down is stronger, let the cushions of the ground support, lull to sleep. Hark! Comfort is a false warmth. Push on harder, we will make it to the land of our dreams and there alone we will rest our aching bones. Till then, escape the trappings of reality, soar into the skies and behold life for what it is, a stepping stone to higher places.

Finally In Chennai

9/01/2010


Finally in Chennai, no wireless internet at the hotel, and no roaming. So was forced to buy a sim card and find somewhere to surf at.

The drive from the airport to the hotel was pretty eventful. Seeing as our driver nearly drove into a divider and almost ended our trip before it had even started.

Turns out he was falling asleep at the wheel. And we trusted him!!! At 4 in the morning, gangs of dogs walk the mean streets of Chennai. I know this because I was there as they sauntered in front of the car, without fear of the four wheeled behemoth that was capable of taking them to Dog Heaven.

After driving for half an hour(From the airport to the city – a distance of about 19 km), we turned down a few streets and just as we saw the welcoming light of the hotel, an old man decided to moon us. Then is when I felt fully welcome, as its common knowledge, if The Old Man of The City doesn’t moon you, you are not welcome in his city.

So far I have noticed two things about Chennai, and I think they are ground breaking in their significance. The first offers a means of blending in for those who prefer to be inconspicuous in a foreign land. Everyone here (and I mean EVERYONE) has a mustache. Yep, there are gigantic mustaches all over. Oh, when I said everyone up there, I obviously didn’t mean the ladies too… But, it is true; Mexicans will feel quite at home here. How stereotypical of me… Anyway, the first chance I get, I’m shaving my beard off. Can’t bear having a piece of carpet covering my upper lip. And why would I want to blend in?

The second is that all the cars here are ugly, butt ugly, pug ugly, squashed in the face ugly and other forms of ugly I can’t bear to name. This finding explains a lot. On the drive to the hotel, it quickly became obvious that driving rules were things that were not really explained to the people who needed them the most; the drivers. But then after the onset of the ugly cars, a very simple explanation presented itself: the drivers want to kill their cars and move on to slightly prettier cars. Possibly, after enough accidents, one might have a car that they are proud of, and hence drive with some form of care.

Anyway, after 4 hours of sleep, we are now off to get breakfast and then go to the hospital. Apollo Hospital. If it looks as gangster as the pictures on the website, I will buy a cane and limp around the hospital insulting patients. Yes, the world needs another House. Though I shall not be House, my name will be Castle. Frank Castle. And I shall be an instrument of punishment…

2nd Worst Flight

8/01/2010

So the flight, second worst flight I’ve been in. And that was the connecting flight from Sharjah to Chennai. First some idiot in the security queue claimed we cut it and started some really daft argument about it. When we finally got to the security check, the guard (quite enthusiastically if I may add) proceeded to open my hand luggage and empty its contents and rummage through them for 15 minutes thus holding up the rest of the people. If looks could kill, I’d probably be dead nine times over by now. Anyway, if you don’t want your bag opened up at the airport, don’t carry books, a collection of sharp pencils, an ipod, a camera and a set of headphones. This is because these are part of A Beginner’s Kit of Bomb-Making©

Heh, hope I dont get into trouble for that last bit.

Backdated Blogs...

Pity the first blogs are going to be old posts I'd written up earlier and due to one thing or the other experienced delays on the way here... :) Anyway, here they are with their relevant dates.

Enjoy.