Finally In Chennai

9/01/2010


Finally in Chennai, no wireless internet at the hotel, and no roaming. So was forced to buy a sim card and find somewhere to surf at.

The drive from the airport to the hotel was pretty eventful. Seeing as our driver nearly drove into a divider and almost ended our trip before it had even started.

Turns out he was falling asleep at the wheel. And we trusted him!!! At 4 in the morning, gangs of dogs walk the mean streets of Chennai. I know this because I was there as they sauntered in front of the car, without fear of the four wheeled behemoth that was capable of taking them to Dog Heaven.

After driving for half an hour(From the airport to the city – a distance of about 19 km), we turned down a few streets and just as we saw the welcoming light of the hotel, an old man decided to moon us. Then is when I felt fully welcome, as its common knowledge, if The Old Man of The City doesn’t moon you, you are not welcome in his city.

So far I have noticed two things about Chennai, and I think they are ground breaking in their significance. The first offers a means of blending in for those who prefer to be inconspicuous in a foreign land. Everyone here (and I mean EVERYONE) has a mustache. Yep, there are gigantic mustaches all over. Oh, when I said everyone up there, I obviously didn’t mean the ladies too… But, it is true; Mexicans will feel quite at home here. How stereotypical of me… Anyway, the first chance I get, I’m shaving my beard off. Can’t bear having a piece of carpet covering my upper lip. And why would I want to blend in?

The second is that all the cars here are ugly, butt ugly, pug ugly, squashed in the face ugly and other forms of ugly I can’t bear to name. This finding explains a lot. On the drive to the hotel, it quickly became obvious that driving rules were things that were not really explained to the people who needed them the most; the drivers. But then after the onset of the ugly cars, a very simple explanation presented itself: the drivers want to kill their cars and move on to slightly prettier cars. Possibly, after enough accidents, one might have a car that they are proud of, and hence drive with some form of care.

Anyway, after 4 hours of sleep, we are now off to get breakfast and then go to the hospital. Apollo Hospital. If it looks as gangster as the pictures on the website, I will buy a cane and limp around the hospital insulting patients. Yes, the world needs another House. Though I shall not be House, my name will be Castle. Frank Castle. And I shall be an instrument of punishment…